When a local planet is in trouble, it’s Enterprise to the rescue. Or usually would be, but it’s a pre-warp civilisation and the no contact rule applies. But there’s a loophole. The planet Tezarr runs on an energy system gifted by Vulcan explorers way before the Federation existed and now it’s breaking down. Starfleet can’t help, but Vulcan’s barged their way onto the planet before those rules were made. They just need a few Vulcans to help…
Writers: Dana Horgon & Henry Alonzo Myers
Director: Jordan Canning
One of the earliest released details for Season 3 was ‘The Vulcan Episode’ that would introduce the crew to Vulcan Logic the hard way. The set up for all of this is a little shaky. The pre-warp Tezzar planet has high levels of tech outside warp drive and with no Vulcans on hand, the landing team have to play pretend. To avoid getting caught and revealed as not-Vulcans, Chapel uses some of her genetic manipulation magic – first seen in the series pilot episode – to turn herself, Pike, Uhura and La’an into actual Vulcans. Which goes so well that their mission to save the planet is done off screen in just a few minutes.
The whole thing is played for laughs. The swift change from humans, to screaming on the floor with overwhelming emotions and a slow-motion power walk are all we see of the mission. And on the return, the cure to turn them back completely fails. But thats fine as they all decide to stay Vulcan anyway seeing it as more logical and efficient. And they’re all the way Vulcan, right down to the arrogance and looking down on Spock – the only one with actual Vulcan heritage – for being half human.
From there the plot is just the four selected crew messing everything up in their own brand of Vulcan-ness. Uhura’s Vulcan self becomes a little too controlling, letting her frustrations over Beto Ortegas’ casualness mind meld him into submission which Erica finds understandably horrific. La’an channels the Romulan side of Vulcan-ness with her genetic history leaning into the warlord side and trying to take over the Enterprise in an effort to claim all of space. And Chapel realises she can do multiple experiments at once and dedicates her life to science and alienating anyone who interrupts her work….
Pike just cleans. Obsessively. Which actually made for the best part of the transition. Technically La’an was the main focus as a visiting Jim Kirk teams up with Scotty to try and stop her starting a war, and her story ends with her being brought back to reality by Spock reminding her of love and humanity. But Pike’s obsessively clean and honest persona thankfully put a bit of a spotlight on Batel which stood out more than most.
Batel’s trying to get back to work, at least on a limited basis in the JAG office if not exploration. And her Vulcan Admiral boss is visiting to talk about it. But her now-Vulcan boyfriend feels the need to explain all the pressures and troubles she’d bring with her due to the extensive medical treatment she’s under. When that results in Batel giving them both what can only be described as a bollocking, even if played for laughs (like everything else) it’s nice to remember she’s more than just the sidekick again as, for the most part, she’s just been the live-in girlfriend this season.
Spock trying to find a Vulcan solution to the problem was also fun as Una recommended an old lover of hers, a Vulcan artist called Doug. Which, while fun, did seem a bit off in terms of character and felt a bit more Ugly Betty than Strange New Worlds. But Patton Oswald as the only Vulcan fascinated by Spock’s human side – and the after credits scene which felt like improv – worked far better than it had any right to.
Overall it felt a very take it or leave it episode. In the greater context, SNW this season seems to have leaned into more comedy than previous which sets the balance off, and this one being a shameless comedy did skim over some of the more interesting elements in the same way the musical did. Kirk and Scotty’s friendship. La’an’s genetic background. Batel possibly becoming the top JAG officer. Even the weirdness of Una’s reaction to Doug leaves more questions on her background than we had time or motivation to see answered here.
It was fun. I actually quite enjoyed the idea of flipping the human Spock scenario and watching the crew huddle together and deal with a suddenly arrogant overly efficient Captain, La’an going full panto and even the escalating series of lies Una spat out from sheer panic. But in the grand scheme of things, with limited episodes and a lot of untouched depth this season, the hour could have been used a little better.
Highlights
- Fries in a sandwich seems to confuse people. Scotty needs to explain a chip butty...
- Pelia's quarters being a blind spot for everything she doesn't want people to know, including attempted LSD trips, is very Pelia.
- Another unique SNW intro thanks to Vulcan Pike's very flat, very loud monologue.
All Connected...
Everyone knows Vulcans and Romulans are just a divergence of the same species that will eventually rekindle in a few centuries. Well, everyone at home anyway. On screen only La’an and Pike have seen the what Romulans look like. Which is a nice commitment to the idea that the Earth-Romulan war was all done by radio and gunfire without ever seeing the enemy face to face.
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